The weightiness of October

October is a complex month. In September, we're coasting along, riding the tail end of the long wave of summer...then October comes along and...wham! Fall is here. The temperature drops. The leaves fall. And it rains. A lot. I always forget how much it rains.

But there are also those gorgeous, #nofilter October days that make you wish that you could press pause on the temperature, the low humidity, the warm sunlight filtering through the vibrant trees. The days when I'm driving along in our neighborhood with the windows down, singing along to some awful song on the radio with the kids and exalting, "This is my most favorite time of the year!" The crisp, clear, days remind me of one of the best days of my life: Our wedding, on October 29, 2005. I remember poring over the Farmer's Almanac in the weeks prior to the wedding, analyzing the past years' weather and trying to calculate the chances of rain. Nothing was even scheduled to be outside, but I wanted pictures at the Grotto. It was a perfect, sunshiny day, of course. And I got my pictures.

Mark's birthday is in October--a day I admittedly always manage to bungle somehow. This year, for the big 36, we had just returned from our kid-free trip to the Pacific Northwest. I spent the afternoon visiting Jeanie and Uncle Phil, my mom, Leezie and Lily at the Farm. We got home too late for any formalities; I dashed into Weis to buy a cheesecake and poor Mark ordered his own birthday pizza. Wife of the year right here. But Papa and Diz came over, we sang, and the kids blew out the candles, and gave him a couple of gifts, including a glittery Redskins Christmas Ornament Eamon so sweetly picked out just for Daddy. He says it was all he wanted, glittery ornament and all, but I think I still owe him.

But with the celebrations of October come a bit of weightiness, too. The month can't slip by without bleak memories of losing both Grandmommy and Grandpop, just a year apart in mid-October of 2004 and 2005. How we all forged forward and had my wedding just two weeks after Grandpop's funeral, I don't know. Reflecting on that horrible contradiction of emotions still makes me a little nauseous, but all along I've known that having a big ol' party was what he would have wanted. The man already had his tux pressed and shoes shined. He was going to walk my Mom down the aisle.

10 (and 9) years gone by, yet I still hear their voices, still feel their papery, but smooth skin. Still feel the stiffness and stickiness of Grandmommy's voluminous, snow-white hair after she had it "done." Still hear Grandpop's cackling laugh and the sternness in his voice after he chastised me for doubting him..."99 out of 100 times, I am right." I tell stories about them to the kids all the time. They know the Farm as "Grandpop's Farm" even though they came long after he climbed that tractor for one last spin in the fields. Nora knows that she has Grandmommy's nose, and that we spotted it early on in one of her very first sonograms. And soon Nellie will be able to understand that maybe, just maybe, got her sparkling blue eyes from JDOC.

One of the BEST times--Oysters with Grandpop in NYC!

As my friend Crystal told me, it's far better to remember the birthday than the last day, so I never dwell on those dates. Yet they do manage to creep into my conscious on gloomier days, like today. I get an inexplicable sinking feeling and then realize the significance of the date. The memories flood back. The painful ones, yes, mostly the amazing ones that make me appreciate the time we had together and wish for just one more hour with each of them.

But back to the much better bits of October. Pretty soon, Halloween will be ringing our doorbell, and I better have some tricks and treats ready. It's going to be major. Like sugar-crazed preschoolers running wild around our house major. The kids are off of school that day, so of course we're throwing a party for Nora and her classmates, and likely some of E's friends too. And of course I've invited neighbors to come over to our house after trick-or-treating later that evening. I'm sure I'll go into a Pinterest-fueled fury leading into it all and will be making pumpkin-shaped cake pops until 3 a.m. the night before. Mark may want to divorce me. But then we'll have a great time, the kids will love their cakepops (and hopefully not smush them into our brand new carpet), and I'll pin my pics like it was all so easy, eventually forgetting how I vowed to never make those motherf&*$ing cake pops ever again.

It better not rain.

Halloween '13: Let's hope Nellie won't be so terrified this year. Or that Nora won't hug her so hard. 

This year, we'll be going on a variation of the bug and super hero theme, throwing in a princess for good measure. Can you guess who will be whom? 

Resurrection

I'm baaaack.

It's been a while.

Things have changed.

Kids are growing, vocabularies are expanding, homework is a thing now.

But I don't want Eamon, Nora, and Nell to one day find this blog and think that all of a sudden I grew disinterested in them or had nothing new to report. It's just the opposite, of course. Every single hour is filled to maximum capacity leaving me little time to do anything else but work and collapse into a heap at the end of the very long day.

Yet I want to remember this time. To sanctify it. To put it in a vault where it will remain, in like-new condition, for eternity. To record their little phrases, sayings. The way Nellie responds to nearly every request with an enthusiastic "Otay!" The way Nora slips into my side of the bed in the mornings to "snuggle in," folding her little body into mine for 30 blissful moments before the chaos begins. The way Eamon zips through his math work faster than I can even process the problems (clearly his Daddy's son). Or how he sends me sweet texts and leaves notes on my phone like "EAMON IS CRAZY COOL."

There's so much. So much fun. So much that drives me absolutely crazy. So much whizzing by at a pace I just can't keep up with. So, so much love.

Eamon, Nora, and Nellie, if you are reading this in the future and you want to know why Mommy just stopped writing updates and posts about you at some point in 2014, know that it was because I was having way too good of a time with you to sit down and actually write about it. (Oh, and there's this little thing called Instagram that kind of took over for a while...). But I do love writing about each of you. And our conventional, crazy, chaotic life. So I promise I'll try again, starting now.

The blog is back.

Nell's Birthday Party: A Quick Recap

It's been nearly two months since our little bug turned one. Or shall I say our little snowflake? I threw together a quick 'n' easy "Winter ONEderland" themed party for family and friends and here's how it went down...

Let's talk about this igloo cake, shall we? After Bec gave me the idea for the wintry theme, I found the idea for this baby on Pinterest and thought, "well that's something I'll totally screw up". I gave it a go, figuring I'd run out for cupcakes if it turned out to be a fail. It took a few tries, but I actually did #nailit in the end. 

Because what birthday party is complete without a dessert table? The marshmallow "snow" may be my most favorite thing ever. 

The birthday girl in her full regalia, before she spit up allover her Jason Wu (for Target) dress. 

Couldn't get a decent shot of the entire family, but here we our with our baby, post wardrobe change! Note the mini igloo cake (made from a cupcake). 

Fill a crockpot with cocoa and toss some colorful marshmallows and fancy cookies in mason jars and call me a happy girl. 

A shot of the Nell's mini igloo smash cake (and some yummy choco-covered pretzels, too). 

A craft table was set up in our basement for the older kids. $1 wooden frames from Michaels, plus stickers and glitter glue made for an easy and cute activity and party favor. 

We blew up 35 white balloons and released them as a "blizzard" in the basement. 

The chalkboard print I had made on Etsy for like $5. I had it printed out poster-size at Walgreens, glued it onto foam board and had a great photoshoot prop--and a centerpiece for the party. 

Sugar, sugar...

Love me some Shutterfly freebies. This book cost less than $10 (printing/shipping cost only) and is filled with pics from day 1 to day 365. And now, messages from Nell's nearest and dearest...

Some of our cute little guess digging into the cake...

A Year of Nell

No, it can't be...there's no way it has been ONE full year since we welcomed our littlest one, Nell. Through a bitter winter, a sunny spring, a steamy summer, and a fresh-aired fall, we have watched her bloom from a red-faced, screaming infant to a wide-eyed, ebullient cherub of a baby. I could fill pages with how much we adore this little girl, how sweet her disposition is, how easygoing and ridiculously adorable we think she is. How she lights up with a toothy grin and says "Da Da!" whenever she sees her Daddy, how she nuzzles her soft head into my chest when she's sleepy. How she breaks into a little bouncy dance when she hears her favorite songs. How she says "uh oh" when she drops something or how she darts around the house on all fours--still a crawler but soon to be walking. How she sleeps like an angel (for the most part) and how she already eats more than her big sister. How her hair is coming in straight as an arrow and reddish brown, how her big blue eyes just melt me.

But, instead of endlessly babbling about our Nellie, I'll just say that, while I will miss the days of her being a tiny baby, I'm looking forward to continuing to watch her grow, to see whether she'll be a shy, soft-spoken contrast to her big brother and sister's outgoing, in-your-face personalities. To see what she'll be like once she really starts walking--and talking. Because as hard as it is to accept how quickly time passes us by, there's something magical in anticipating the unknown.

8 month check in

As we round the bend to Nell's 9-month mark, figure it's high time to post her 8 month pics and stats. So here ya go. This little chickadee continues to be our little ray of sunshine, a happy, smiley, sweet, and easy baby who I seriously can't get enough of. We're all completely smitten with her!

7 months of Nellie

Nellie is rounding the bend to her 8 month...and here I am just posting her 7 month photos! (And don't even ask where months 5 & 6 are. Yes I'm lapsing, But I really do love you Nellie, I do!)

So, in the spirit of making up for lost time, here are some shots of our blue-eyed, happy, chill, sweet, squeezable, and honest-to-goodness-just-downright-delicious little girl! 

Nell is Four Months!

Too long to fit into the picture!

Dimples?

Ol' Blue Eyes

Nell Cathryn is now four months old (and change). The days around here are so chaotic I completely forgot to commerate her "day" on the 22nd and didn't take her monthly shot until today. Whoops. Not much has changed in the last week or so, though the rate she is growing she probably did gain a few inches. Speaking of which, Little Nell is the epitome of a string bean. She is long (98th percentile) and lean (47th percentile). She eats a lot, so I have to think she has a fast metabolism like her mama!

Anyway, a little glimpse at what Nell's up to now:

New Nicknames: While we still aren't quite sure whether she's a Nell or Nellie (or both), one thing's for sure: She is definitely going to have a few pet names growing up. For starters, we call her Nellie Belly, Nell Bell, and Nellie Noodles. Eamon is a fan of the first one!

Loving her siblings: In awe is more like it. She is lucky to have two very loving and attentive siblings who love to make her laugh--and she is just as smitten as they are. Let's hope that sticks!

Grabbing things: Toys, blankies, her feet, a bottle...she's discovered the wonderful uses and entertainment value of of her hands.

Trying desperately to roll: She really wants to go from back to front, but we're just not there yet. Granted, we are on the go so much that her floor time is very limited, so she doesn't get much practice. I'm sure once she figures it out, crawling will come soon!

Figuring out her sleep habits: We are still working on the sleep thing. She was doing super for such a long time--sleeping through the night since about 2 months--but lately she hasn't been so consistent. Some nights are awesome, others just eh. Naps are allover the map, too. Again, I have to blame myself because we really aren't home much during the day, so she tends to take cat naps in the car or while we're out and then doesn't really want to sleep for solid stretches at home. But the good news is that she is out of our room and in her own (albeit still in the bassinet) so at least that hurdle has been cleared!

I tend to get frustrated when I don't get things like sleep perfectly because, after all, this is my third time at the rodeo. But as hard as the first year can be--and as crazy as we can get when their nights are just so unpredictable--I know that year two and on are pretty much cakewalks (at least in this house). So I just have to ride this phase out and hope she's as solid of a sleeper as her bro and sis!